Stunning Captured Zoom Call Among Key Globalist Players (Parody VIII)
Participants:
Xi Jinping, General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party, Chairman of the Central Military Commission, President of the People's Republic of China [speaking through a translator]
George Soros, international financier and founder and head of the Open Society Foundations
Laurence (Larry) Douglas Fink, chairman and chief executive officer of BlackRock
Joseph R. Biden, President of the United States of America, Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces
Dr. Jill Biden, First Lady of the United States of America [on same conference feed with the President]
TRANSCRIPT:
Soros: Hi Jinping…I’ve got Larry Fink from Blackrock on the line here because I think that he can help you out on what we were talking about the other day. Also on the call are Joe and Jill Biden. Jill has been hounding me for weeks now to get Joe onto one of our calls so that he can remember what he is supposed to be and, you know, feel important.
Xi: Yeah fine…thanks George and good to see you again Larry. Listen, we’ve got to talk about this plan of ours and how its working out…it’s a great plan but like all plans it is taking too long to implement. You know the old saying about war…when the first bullets fly all the plans go out the window…something like that.
Joseph Biden: Yeah…that’s what I always say about jelly doughnuts…you take a bite and the jelly squirts out and gets all…
Dr. Jill Biden: Sorry Mr. Xi…Joe means that you are absolutely right. Go on.
Xi: Yes, well, this effective shutting down of the global maritime transport system is working beautifully to screw over the economies of all of the western capitalist nations, but it is having a hell of an effect on China and the natives are getting restless, if you know what I mean.
Joseph Biden: Yeah…I asked one of the servants that they give you at the White House to go out to get me some of my favorite s’mores to eat while I’m watching TV before I go to bed and he said that they don’t have s’mores at the supermarket but that he could have them made for me in the White House kitchen. Can you imagine that…they ran out of s’mores at the supermarket…
Dr. Jill Biden: Joe, they don’t sell s’mores in the market…you have to make them at home…please go on Mr. Xi.
Xi: Jill, can you mute your Zoom feed so that we don’t have to deal with Joe’s interruptions?
Dr. Jill Biden: Mr. Xi, haven’t you been told that the proper way to address me is as “Dr. Biden.”
Xi: Uh, haven’t you figured out that when you are speaking to me, the General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party, Chairman of the Central Military Commission of China, President of the People's Republic of China, a country with over 1.4 billion people who generally refer to me as their “great leader,” and effectively your husband’s employer, that you don’t call me “Mr. Xi”? What kind of junk doctorate do you have anyway…obviously it’s something really useful like gender studies.
Dr. Jill Biden: Where’s the mute button…there it is. [silence}
Xi: George (Soros), is it really necessary at this point to keep this old fart around anymore? Did you see that town hall he did on CNN the other night? I mean what the #uck?
Soros: I know, I know, I know…um, we have a real problem because believe it or not Camela is really even worse. Taking Biden out with the 25th Amendment is something that we always knew we could do as soon as we didn’t need him anymore. The problem with Camela is that she’s an articulate total and complete idiot whose only real talent is sleeping her way to the top…just ask Willie Brown…she thinks that she is hot shit and is totally uncontrollable…and unlike Joe she can actually string together multiple sentences which makes her even more dangerous. But that’s not the real problem, there is a real question whether she is a natural born citizen of the United States or not.
Xi: What are you talking about? You told me that she was an intersectional dream come true and you didn’t even check out if she is qualified to be president under their soon to be dead constitution?
Soros: Look, after what we pulled off with Barry Soetoro we thought that that sort of thing would be off the table…but these right wing #uckers are at it again on Camela and it could get messy because it could lead to a continuity of government crisis that could trigger the US military to get involved.
Xi: You’re talking about that devolution stuff where the military decides that there is no constitutional civil authority in place and they take over to put in a real government?
Soros: Yeah, you’ve got it.
Xi: Are you kidding me? What’s the matter with you? You know that we have totally, completely, and utterly gelded the US military. Don’t forget that we vaxxed half of them and most of them will be dead or disabled in a few months…and the other half Lloyd (Austin) and what’s-his-name Milley are drumming out because they won’t take the vax. The non-compliant one’s they’re getting rid of are the one’s who would do the devolution thing and they’re history. We have totally defeated the US military without firing a shot…it’s one of the greatest, most amazing victories in the history of warfare and you are worried about them?
Soros: I guess you’re right, but then there is the problem with the US Senate. As vice president Camela’s our tie breaking vote in the Senate…putting in a replacement lackey vice president could take time and we don’t have time.
Xi: Why are you worried about a tie breaker in the Senate? Haven’t you paid off and compromised enough Republican senators to take care of this? What’s with Romney and Sasse? And what’s with Sinema and that jerk Manchin? Why are these people not obedient? …and how about that turtle guy…McConnell…we own his wife…she’s one of ours. Anyway, why are you thinking about this senate stuff at all? What does the Senate have to do with anything…or the House…or the Supreme Court at this point? We are running the executive branch of your government now and everything is to be done through executive orders, mandates, and administrative agency rule-making according to our instructions. The United States is no longer an independent republic…it is now a province of the Peoples Republic of China and just like Taiwan it shall soon understand that it is ruled by the Chinese Communist Party.
Soros: You know what Jinping, you are so right. You are so right…I apologize for what I said.
Xi: You’re damn right I’m right. Apology not accepted. Now, getting back to where I started, the deal that we made with you and your globalist friends was that we would use the pandemic to crash the economies of the US, Canada, and Australia, create total chaos in these countries’ societies and provoke civil wars, then we would take them over with prepositioned operatives and invasion troops, kill off their populations, and take possession. You guys get to keep Western Europe, we share Africa’s blacks as slaves and the resources, and we figure the rest out later.
Soros: That’s definitely the deal.
Dr. Jill Biden (unmutes): Now wait a second George. What’s in it for the Biden family…you know we’ve got bills to pay too and keeping Hunter in whores and cocaine ain’t easy.
Soros: Jill, did I ask you to unmute yourself? Did I allow you to unmute yourself?
Dr. Jill Biden: First of all George, it’s Dr. Biden and… [Bidens’ feed is apparently muted by the host, possibly dropped from the call by the host as no further Biden feed comments are heard on this call]
Soros: It’s OK Jinping, we’ll take care of them soon…go ahead with what you were saying.
Xi: Yeah, right, anyway imploding the US and Australia is taking you guys way too long and causing major problems for us over here since we can’t get coal from Australia to fire our electric generating plants and we’re not getting paid for our exports and now we have the Evergrande thing that is going to crater our financial markets. We’re shutting down factories all over the place, our unemployment rate is skyrocketing. It’s a total shit show and now my old buddy Jiang Zemin who actually tried to kill me once is stirring up my old enemies in the politburo to take me out. You made this deal with me…you’re never going to get anything like it from Jiang. Larry (Fink), you control over 1600 of the largest public corporations in the US through BlackRock…what can you do to help me out here?
Fink: I just don’t know Jinping…we told you coming into this thing that taking down especially the US economy would be really tough…it’s built like a brick shithouse and the damn American people just aren’t rolling over like we thought they would. They actually think that they are invincible with their guns and all. Then you’ve got this jerk Trump who seems to have some kind of power to screw up everything that we plan on doing. It’s just taking a lot longer even with the global supply chain train wreck we’ve put together. You guys just have to hang in there while it plays out. I mean, don’t you have complete control over your population anyway? They don’t have any guns, you’ve got that social credit system to imprison them in their own homes, you’ve got your army…like don’t the peasants know that if they step out of line you’ll just shoot them? Don’t they know that? And as far as Jiang is concerned, why don’t you just shoot him too…and all his friends in the politburo…isn’t that what you people do in these type of situations anyway? Where’s your inner Joe Stalin? Now there was a commie who knew how to do human resources.
Xi: Larry, do you not realize how many bullets it would take for me to control this thing like Stalin did? And the guns and the people to fire the guns? I have over 1.4 billion people here…I’d have to shoot maybe a hundred million to scare the pants off the peasants and even then I couldn’t be sure. It’s a non-starter. The only thing that I could really do is starve the people out in the country to death like Mao did but they’re not my problem…it’s our new damn middle class in the cities that think that they deserve to live like they’re in Santa Monica. As far as Jiang is concerned, I can't trust anybody around here to take him and his friends out...you never know who your friends are if you know what I mean. I'd have to do it myself and I'm not that good of a shot.
Fink: Yeah, it’s like one of those giant oil tankers, once you throw the wheel over to go south, all it wants to do is go south. How about Taiwan…why don’t you take Taiwan? It would be a great distraction for your people and you’re all set up to do it. You can cut off the west from all the chips from Taiwan Semiconductor…that’s 92% of the world’s most sophisticated chips. Our industries are already suffering from chip shortages…you cut off Taiwan Semi and it’s game over.
Xi: No can do Larry. No problem taking Taiwan…we can do that in a couple of days’ work especially with the US out of the way…but Taiwan will use their missiles to take out the Three Gorges Dam for spite while they’re going down. We own a bunch of really valuable factories downstream that would be hell to lose...China certainly doesn’t need the millions of people who would die if that happened but the loss of electric power generating capacity would further cripple our industries. That along with the lost factories would be something that Jiang would use to take me out for sure…I can’t let that happen of course.
Fink: Look, Jinping, I’ll talk to Jerry Powell over at the Federal Reserve and I am sure that they can cook up two or three trillion dollars and wire them over to your account at HSBC so you can stabilize things. Jerry owes me one. With any luck the dollars will still be worth something by the time you go to use them.
Xi: No problem there…saving Evergrande is going to cost at least a trillion alone and those jokers have been camped outside my office for weeks.
Soros: Hey Larry, you’re the best.
Fink: You owe me big time George…there better be a major country in Europe for me when this is all over.
Soros: You got it Larry…it’ll be right next to mine. You all good Jinping?
Xi: You bet. Take care.
[transcript ends]
