No 'Checking out' on aisle 3, in the fast lane just yet.. I enjoy your friendship and feel we all have more to offer one another (spiritually) then not.. We all really need to have a voice chat some night.. Just kicking back and letting loose with our thoughts and gnosis..
I can't say that I know how you feel because I'm not you but I do understand from my own burned out perspective. We work like dogs to break free of the 9-5 drudge. For what?? To pay some bills so we can do it all over again?? The other day I was sitting in my recliner and mentally reviewing my day. I had worked.. check.. finished painting my bedroom.. check.. grocery shopped.. check.. even took a review class on music theory .. check.. I should be proud as a peacock at all I'd accomplished in one day yet I wondered why it all felt so empty, routine and mundane....
I'd been warned (years and years ago) that after you peek behind the veil nothing holds it's charm anymore. After you see the bread and circus distraction for what it really is, it's difficult to stand in the cheering section and find anything to cheer about... Every TV show or movie that I watch is loaded with symbols, socialism and NLP, mind controlling BS.. I see it but it's with a jaded smirk.. little enjoyment is actually found in watching the spiel on TV.
Itís this intense pressure, need, drive of rising to our full spiritual potential that seems to throw us off.... Does it even matter?? Does 'matter' matter?? Is the answer within or is that yet another distraction to keep us busy so we don't find out the truth.. My drive to reach this imaginary higher plane of existence is so strong.....
The material world can seriously suck sometimes. :-))
: As I know it at this point in time.
: ON edge, on point, wary.
: Follow heart, trusting, no one.
: Yet open.
: Too much input.
: Physical changes.
: Stronger. weaker.
: omnipotent and helpless.
: Hour by hour, day by day.
: Not giving a shit about the world as I spout opinions
: to give the impression I join in the fray.
: Physically beat yet resilient.
: Accomplishing tasks consistently with ease.
: Too easy for the overseer.
: I don't want one any more. No overseer.
: Accomplishing a task before the appointed time is anathema.
: Can't be done, you're a freak.
: I don't want to be a freak anymore.
: Flying my freak flag doesn't work for the crowd.
: I don't want to be the crowd.
: I just want to go off into left field and keep going.
: Lion Scare.
: Fighting with life.
: Not according to plan.
: WHOSE FUCKING PLAN ARE WE ON??????????????
: i'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR ENLIGHTENED ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT THE
: sO TELL ME WISE ONE, WHY SHOULD i CONTINUE TO PLAY THE GAME?
: AFTER BEATING MY HEAD INTO THE WALL FOR CENTURIES????
: For Moments, I step out of time,
: I see and know the possibilities.
: I'm just damn tired.
: Free me. Kill me. Either way.
: But if you kill me, I come to your realm.
: and regardless of programming, I now know the game.
: You cannot hold me, you cannot destroy me.
: If you choose to leash vengeance upon my world,
: upon my home,
: there is no refuge for you. No place in any world.
: No place in any galaxy or creation.
: KNOW THAT IF NOTHING ELSE.
: YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME.
: KILL ME. I BEG YOU.
: SO I MAY HUNT YOU TO YOUR DEATH.