Moderna’s Covid-19 vaccination, which the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved on 18 December, may cause recipients to experience an extremely rare but potentially lethal side effect—Monsterism, a degenerative disease that ravages a victim with physical and mental deformities.

A Moderna whistleblower speaking under condition of anonymity for fear of retaliation said 3 of the 30,000 trial candidates began showing symptoms of the horrible disease shortly after receiving the second dose of the two-part vaccination. Since half of all volunteers were given a placebo, the true number of afflicted was 3 in 15,000, or 0.02%, and while that figure might seem statistically insignificant, it is critical because, our source said, Moderna concealed the unintended side effect from both the FDA and the volunteers who had not yet received the second inoculation. The US government sponsored Moderna’s vaccine to the tune of one billion dollars.

The first symptomatic victim telephoned Moderna two days following the vaccination. He complained of headaches, nausea, unusual body hair growth, and upper abdominal post-prandial extensions; a Moderna representative assured him the symptoms were “normal and nothing to worry about,” but instructed him to seek medical attention at a local emergency room if symptoms persisted into the next morning.

“The patient—I’ll call him James—rushed to the ER the next morning. He was fucked. His head had grown three times its normal size, and his face was covered in warts that oozed a gelatinous, green puss. On top of that, every tooth in his mouth literally exploded. He was rushed to a COVID-19 isolation ward, where over the next several hours he grew fur from head to toe. He looked like Chewbacca,” our source said.

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