They... meaning most everyone, never wants to do things the simple and expedient way. For example, someone has a habit pattern and it is slowly and certainly killing them; or maybe not so slowly. The smart and intelligent thing to do is to stop doing whatever it is. Perhaps they were once able to get away with it, with impunity, at every visit to the well. Now... their dispensation has been taken away. Do they stop? No, they look for ways around it. They tell themselves they will cut back. They will vary the hours or frequencies of appearance. It all comes of lying to yourself.
I am very familiar with all that. I used to lie to myself and God knows I engaged in all kinds of self-destructive behavior. I fought my own dishonesty, of course. I struggled mightily with my own bullshit. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, it was to no avail. Many times I was convinced that God hated me. I tried to imagine what I might have done wrong in other lives. It seldom occurred to me that there might be another explanation for it all, or that it might have all been for the Purpose of Demonstration... and not just to myself. I couldn't resolve my being able to communicate with members of the Devic Realm when I was so cursed. They wouldn't be talking to me and guiding me, would they? If I really were so out of favor with Heaven then why would Heaven talk to me?
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