I'm a gourmet cook, and if yous tells anyone I'm gonna e-mail y'all a nose-lick.

Now this is super labour intensive, and throw your damn wight loss diet out the window for this one:

Nosehair Stuffing, and little more. (I get most of my stuff from Trader Joe's, the rest at a huge East Indian store, as far as the spices go.)

And that means it's FOR Nosehairs, and NOT of Nosehairs.

3 stalks celery
1 medium sweet onion
7 green onions
3 large shallots
5 roma tomatoes
3 heads of garlic

2 red or yellow or orange bell peppers
1 pound crimini mushrooms
6 oz. peas fresh or frozen
6 oz of spinach fresh or frozen
6 oz of fresh basil
1 loaf onion rye bread
1 cup olive oil
1 1/2 packages of UNSALTED Kerry Gold butter
7 oz. jar of drained capers
1/2 bunch of cilantro

1 tbsp. caraway seeds
1 tbsp. cumin seeds
2 tbsp. dill seeds
2 tbsp. dill weed (fresh or dried)
1/4 cup garlic powder
2 tbsp smoked paprika (Trader Joe's specialty)
1 tbsp fresh grated black pepper
1/4 tsp. Cucina Tuscan seasoning
1/4 tsp. fennel seeds
2 tbsp. 21 Season Salute (Trader Joe's specialty)
1 tbsp dried basil
1/4 tsp. mace

Cut up the bread, set aside
Cook mushrooms with 1/2 Kerry Gold butter package for 10 minutes, pour everything including all the liquid over the bread, and mix it up as well as you can.
Cut up all the veggies, mix the spices, butter and olive in real good, cook for 18 minutes, stirring every 3 minutes and pour that over the bread, mixing it up completely.

Went great with yams and mashed garlic potatoes. I put in one head of garlic for every pound of potatoes, and 1/8 Cucina Tuscan seasoning for every pound of potatoes. I throw in about 2 tbsp. of garlic powder for every pound of potatoes after it's done, add all the cream and Kerry Gold butter that doesn't liquify it, and top it off with black pepper. . .whatever looks good. Probably about 1/4 tsp. per pound. I dunno. What I do know, it's about as decadent as you can get.

I didn't have any beastie meat with it. Haven't had any chicken in about 2 months. Still won't call myself a vegetarian, though. I'm open to eating chicken, even if I never have any more.